BAD DRIVERS!!

[ROLOHOTWHEELS]

This morning on the freeway
> I looked over to my left and there was a
> Woman
> In a brand new
> Top of the range BMW
> Doing 65 mph
> With her
> Face up next to her
> Rear view mirror
> Putting on her eyeliner.
> I looked away
> For a couple seconds
> And when I looked back she was
> Halfway over in my lane,
> Still working on that Makeup.
> As a man,
> I don't scare easily.
> But she scared me so much;
> I dropped
> My electric shaver,
> Which knocked
> The donut
> Out of my other hand.
> In all
> The confusion of trying
> To straighten out the car
> Using my knees against
> The steering wheel,
> It knocked
> My cell phone
> Away from my ear
> Which fell
> Into the coffee
> Between my legs,
> Splashed,
> And burned
> Big Jim and the Twins,
> Ruined the d**n phone,
> Soaked my trousers,
> And disconnected an
> Important call.
> d**n women drivers!!

[drseuss]

ANONYMOUS POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.